Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas win

When I was five or six years old, my father produced not one but two huge boxes wrapped on gorgeous Christmas paper for my mother. I remember being so excited for my mother, fantasizing about all of the wonderful things that could be in those boxes. I *may* have caressed said boxes. Christmas morning came and my mother opened those boxes and it was a vacuum cleaner. I was pissed. I had imagined furs and jewels and all kinds of fantastic things awaiting my excited mother in those boxes. Not a vacuum cleaner. I'm getting mad right now just thinking about those boxes. My mother probably knew what her present was. I don't remember her being indignant, or even moderately irritated.

Fast forward to seven years ago. I'm married to a wonderful man and he routinely goes all out to make my Christmas wonderful. His family tradition involved making sure his mother opened enough gifts at Christmas that the cats and dogs didn't feel compelled the next year to all give her Christmas gifts in addition to what my husband and father in law gave her. Fortunately, they feared what the cats and dogs would do if I didn't get enough packages to open. So, Christmas morning seven years ago, I'm opening my presents and the husband and father in law had obviously done a large part of their shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond. One of my many presents that day was a hand held vacuum cleaner.

I didn't say anything about it to Ed that day. Or that week. I did go to work and bitch about how Ed had inadvertently been a little unsympathetic. I may or may not have used stronger words. I never said anything to Ed about the vacuum cleaner, but my coworkers sure did. He was caught off guard as I'd never told him about the vacuum cleaner my mother received.

Three years ago for Christmas, Ed gave me a motorized bathroom cleaning device and a six pack of toilet paper. There was some jewelry hidden in there. But still, a motorized bathroom scrubber?!?!?!?!?!?! For my birthday this year, he gave me a heated mop. I don't even clean my own house. I write out the check once a week! Fortunately for his life, he does hide something nice in with the cleaning supplies.

This year, there were no cleaning supplies. This year, Ed watched me when we were out shopping together to see what I liked but wouldn't buy for myself.

Did you give or get any bad gifts? Or any really good gifts?


  1. Love it! When I turned 25, I told Eric how it was a hard birthday for me (you know, because 25 is SOOOO old!). The morning of my 25th birthday, he ran to Wal-Mart bright and early and came home with: 1 bottle of perfume (good job), 1 pair of crappy pajama-pants, 1 calendar (my birthday is in October), and 1 Finding Nemo Mousepad. I opened the presents, went back to bed, and cried myself to sleep because I knew I just had to divorce this man who didn't know me!

    Thankfully his gift giving skills have improved significantly over the years. ;)

    Merry Christmas!

  2. Now people know about my crummy present and Christmas. The best part of my Christmases were my childen.

  3. @Ashley, I'm so glad he figured some things out! He'd be in trouble now if he hadn't.

    @Mom, I'm sure my pissy attitude and materialistic tendencies made all of those Christmases even more special!

  4. Amanda I posted your blog on mine. You should check it out and I added you to my blog roll. Thanks for entering my contest! Happy Holidays!

    ~Romantic Savy